May 19, 2009

WANTED

Posted in Uncategorized tagged at 2:14 pm by junecleaverwouldbeshocked

WANTED: ONE GOOD FRIEND. Just one. That’s all I need. I’m not asking for more than my share of super-wonderful friends or anything. I just want one that comes close to the following requirements…

  • You must be a mom, or you’re not going to “get” me.
  • Preferably a stay-at-home mom, so you’ll understand how nerve-wracking it is to sacrifice self in favor of your children, then have your husband say “well you wanted this” if you ever complain about it.
  • Must be loyal…sure, have other friends, but don’t brag about what you do with them to the exclusion of the people around you, either. Or invite them along. Anything else is just rude.
  • Be thoughtful toward your friends, don’t stomp on their feelings just because you can. I can promise that I’ll do the same for you…heck, I try to do that for everyone, whether you’re my friend or not.
  • Call me sometimes just to say hi. Maybe not every day, but more than every two or three weeks. I’ll call you to say hi too, but on about the same time frame. I’m busy with my kids and errands and I know that you are too.
  • Call me if you need to talk, too. Don’t be afraid to vent or to ask for help. I love feeling useful, and I’ll drop most anything to help a friend. Only my kids come first. And believe me, there will be times that I’ll be calling to cry on your shoulder too.
  • Call any time, but understand that I can’t stay on the phone for an hour or more at a time. Too much going on, and you’ll already understand how kids behave when you’re on the phone anyway. Besides, if we talk for very long and I don’t hear your kids screaming in the background, I’m going to wonder if you just turned them outside unsupervised so you can chat.ย  :p
  • Hey, let’s get together! We don’t have to do anything, we can just sit and chat while the kids run amuck for all I care. But it’s nice to see you – sometimes. Again, not five days a week. But sometimes. Getting together sans children is cool too. Even needed sometimes. Just understand that most of the time, I’d rather be at home – I’m not a social butterfly by any means. You might have to suggest something first.
  • Come visit and make yourself at home. You don’t have to ask if you’d like something to drink. I’ll usually offer it first anyway, but if I don’t, just go get it! You should know which cabinet the glasses are in, and not be shy about digging through the fridge for a snack. I’ll learn my way around your place too. After all, you’re not really good friends if you have to ask which one is the silverware drawer.
  • If my kid is out of line, call her on it. I’m usually pretty on top of these things, but if she whacks your kid on the head with a toy while I’m in the bathroom or something, don’t let her get away with it! Not that I would expect her to, of course, because I teach my kids that those things aren’t okay…and I’m sure you do too. But if your kid whacks mine, you can bet your biscuits that I’ll call your kid on it too.
  • Sweep your kitchen and wash your clothes, but don’t have a home that looks like a page out of a magazine. If you do, I’m going to assume that you clean up before I come over, and I just hate that. You’re at home, BE at home. If you have kids, there are going to be toys in the floor. There are going to be little piles of stuff on the counter sometimes, or a random dish in the sink. You’ll find the same at my house, but if you’re really my friend, I won’t have to kill myself cleaning up before you drop by.
  • You don’t have to be perfect. In fact, any good friend of mine has to be slightly imperfect. I’m no Supermom and wouldn’t want to be. If you are, you’re just going to make me feel inferior with your smugness.
  • Just be there. Just be my friend. It’s all about give and take, and I’m willing to do my part…

*sigh*

The most sucky thing is, that I have most of these requirements in my online friends…but not in any that live nearby. In fact, my nearby-friends are most of what the “don’ts” are based off of.

I’m so tired of feeling like a third wheel among my “friends”, of feeling inferior and not good enough, of being included only on select occcasions, of still being expected to be helpful but with nothing offered in return.

I just want one good friend that I can count on…

I don’t want to come home feeling worse for having been with my “friends”…

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3 Comments »

  1. wishingstar97 said,

    Where do I apply? I can do most of those… except maybe visit often ๐Ÿ™‚
    You could move here ๐Ÿ™‚ And then I can visit you and you can visit me!!

  2. I loved your post. I can really relate. I have a lot of online friends but not many real life friends.

  3. Melanie said,

    Why can’t we live closer to each other???????? Even though we’ve never met, I still call you my friend.


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