September 29, 2008

Mean people breed little mean people.

Posted in Fun Stuff, Things That Tick Me Off tagged , , , at 3:57 am by junecleaverwouldbeshocked

I saw this on a bumper sticker earlier today, not realizing at the time that it was about to become a recurring theme in my day.

We took the girls to PBS KidsFest today. Princess had seen commercials for it and had been asking to go – it was an hour’s drive away, but admission and everything inside was free, and she was pretty desperate to go and meet some of the PBS characters. (PBSkids.com is her favorite website, so she’s a little more familiar with them than I am at this point.) So we thought, sure, fun outing with the kidlets, and off we went.

HOLY COW was this place crowded! For some reason, I just wasn’t expecting this massive amount of children – but there they were, and we jumped right into the middle of it. After spending our first ten minutes inside waiting for the elevator (I knew I should’ve left the stupid stroller in the van), we stepped out into the floor of the civic center – and one solid wall of bodies. Just getting through the crowd was next to impossible. Parents, children, strollers, as far as the eye could see.

And having been a part of that ridiculous crowd for several hours, I’d just like to share a few pointers with some of the parents I encountered there today.

1. When attending a very crowded event intended for children, there will be children present. They are shorter than you. Please glance down occasionally while walking to be sure that you aren’t walking on top of one. Especially mine. And if you do step on mine because you weren’t watching where you were going, please pardon my elbow jabbing into your ribs. I have a hard time watching where I’m slinging those things sometimes.

2. I’m also assuming that if you are attending a very crowded event intended for children, that you will be accompanied by a child. Please glance down occasionally while walking to be sure that you aren’t walking on top of your own child. Or that s/he isn’t walking on top of my child. Or twirling in the middle of the crowd, whacking everyone and everything in the vicinity, leaving a path of destruction in his/her wake.

3. And for God’s sake, hold your child’s hand in the parking lot!

4. Strollers are unwieldy, especially in a crowd. I know I struggle with mine at times, but please know that IF I bump into you (or run over your foot), that I will take a few seconds to apologize profusely before moving on. In return, and although I understand the whole stroller situation, if you run over my foot, a quick “sorry” would be appreciated. Don’t pretend it didn’t happen and keep walking – that’s just rude. And don’t run into my child with your stroller, period. I adhere to #2, thankyouverymuch, and she will be walking very, very close to me, and will not be flagrantly in your way.

5. Do not step OVER my stroller to get in front of me while walking. The tires are big, and you will trip and look like even more of a moron than you would for just stepping over a stroller. And if you manage not to trip, I will most likely run it into the backs of your ankles anyway – and that mess hurts. OOPS!

6. Do not pick your child up and carry him/her to the front of the line/center of the stage/etc. in front of a bunch of other children. This is presumptious and rude, and every other parent will hate you for it. Your child is not cuter or more special than our children.

7. If you fail to adhere to the above suggestions, I must admit that I do not expect your children to behave much better than you do. I’m sure that the kid behind us in the never-ending balloon animal line that blew a stinking whistle in my ear non-stop for half an hour was a primo example of such parenting. And the one that snatched my baby’s toy out of my stroller. And the ones that jumped ahead of us in numerous lines. And the one that pitched a full-blown tantrum in the middle of everything, bringing traffic to an absolute standstill while Mommy tried to coax her out of it, instead of just picking her up and removing her. Way to share, Mom! Sure, kids forget themselves sometimes, and the whole crowded mess was probably overwhelming. But still, if I see a rude kid accompanied by rude parents…yep, you guessed it. I’m going to blame you.

Aside from the crowd and a ton of noise, it was reasonably enjoyable. Princess met and had her picture made with Word Girl, Duck (from Word World) and Mr. McFeely (from Mister Rogers). Boogie wore her Elmo dress and I intended to get a picture of them together, but the line for Elmo was the longest of all, and he was a little freaky looking – so we didn’t bother. Brought home a ton of stickers, coloring pages, etc. Had her face painted to look like a white, glittery kitty. She’s already asking to go back next year – and we probably will.

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